2020: The Most Challenging Year


This year is so different from how I imagined it to be. It’s so different from last year and from how I thought 2020 is gonna be exciting. It’s like everything turned upside down. It was very challenging to the point I almost gave up. But I couldn’t be more thankful that this is also the year I got the biggest blessing I could ever have.

It’s been a year of not posting here on my blog so I have no plans of doing a year-end post as I always do but I can’t let it pass because this year is memorable in so many ways. So let me do this last minute, just typing whatever comes to my mind.

As you may already know based on my social media posts and Youtube videos, I gave birth at 34 weeks during a pandemic. Giving birth is already overwhelming in the first place, what more to a preemie baby and during a pandemic. It was just me and Gerald all through out trying to figure out how to become parents, not knowing what to do, not even sure if we’re holding our baby the right way.

That was just the start. Few weeks later, one of my clients, whose business was affected by the pandemic, decided to end my contract. As with Gerald, he decided not to go to work because no one else will take care of me and our baby, so he had to use up all his VL credits until he is no longer paid due to the “no work, no pay” policy. We struggled financially because we lost a huge source of income.

And then we went into GCQ. Gerald went back to work, which we’re thankful that he still has a job. Because we all know how many people lost their jobs due to the pandemic. But I have this anxiety of him going outside having to meet other people then going back home to us knowing he could be a carrier. All we can do is to make sure to follow safety guidelines, sanitize as often as we can, and take care of our health.

With Gerald going back to work, we had to make adjustments to the routine we got used to. Since the condo has this policy of not allowing anyone to visit as a safety protocol, we can’t have our family come over to at least help us take care of the baby. So it’s a bit more difficult for us now that Gerald is back to work. But thankfully we were able to work it out, despite how difficult it is. And that is mostly because of Gerald. He does most of the household chores while I focus on taking care of our baby. So thankful to have him with me through this.

And just when we thought we’re getting the hang of this, Metro Manila went back to MECQ and Gerald had to stay in their company for two weeks. We had no choice but to risk going to my family’s home in Cavite so that I have someone to help and assist me with taking care our baby. It was a difficult decision. Huge respect to OFWs who sacrifice years of not being with their families to work abroad and sustain their needs. As much as we want Gerald to be with us, he has to go to work or else we will lose another source of income again. Can you imagine how many people had to sacrifice and risk their lives so that they can earn and put food on the table?

Now that we’re on the last day of 2020, I can’t help but look back and think about the “what ifs”. This year is a mess and definitely a challenging one. But having baby Gray this year makes me feel grateful for 2020. I honestly can’t imagine this year without him.

Who knows what 2021 can bring us but I am hoping for the best. Let’s all stay safe and healthy!